A quiz by the Third Sex Reading Group
In the words of my favourite Improv Comedy troupe: “You, boy! What day is it?” – “It’s Pride, bitch!”
If there’s one thing we’ve learned in six years of discussing nineteenth-century gender-non-conformity in our monthly reading group sessions, it is this: the world of Victorian gender is wider, weirder, and Wilder, Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy.
To both illustrate and celebrate all this beautiful Victorian sub-versity (=subversive diversity), we bring you a fun, silly quiz that we shared with our members some years ago, inspired by many texts, topics, and personalities we have discussed over the years. It’s in no way meant to be serious and requires no deeper knowledge – just go with the flow!
Each question has letters from A to H assigned to it. Tally your most-often chosen letter and find out with which of our eight queer beloved Victorian archetypes you vibe the most!
(Any and all of these archetypes are intended to be open to queering, to any gender identity, including, of course, non-binary and trans identities.)
Let’s go, gang!
1 - Pick a poet to vibe with:
A – Walt Whitman
B – Christina Rosetti
C – Algernon Swinburne
D – Renée Vivien
E – William Wordsworth
F – Emily Dickinson
G – Alfred, Lord Tennyson
H – Percy Shelley
2 - Pick a pseudonym/alter-ego name:
A – Bottie deVille
B – Sally Havoc
C – Vyvian Hyacinth
D – Desdemona ‘Dessy’ deLys
E – Drusilla Elmcott
F – Amaranth
G – Cyril ‘Basher’ Bradshaw
H – Edith ‘Medea’ Clarence
3 - Pick a socially unacceptable pastime:
A – Cross-dressing in public
B – Bawdy songs full of innuendo
C – Flaunting epigrams
D – Cavorting with courtesans
E – Recreational pig farming
F – Expressionist art
G – Writing a memoir about your escapades
H – Going to a Hyde Park rally
4 - Pick some writers to read and invite to your dream dinner party:
A – Rachilde, Robert Hichens, & Christopher Isherwood
B – Robert Louis Stevenson, W. S. Gilbert & Arthur Sullivan
C – Théophile Gautier, Ernest Dowson, & Ada Leverson
D – George Sand, Liane de Pougy, & Colette
E – Thomas Hardy, George Eliot, & Mrs Edward Kennard
F – Virginia Woolf, Arthur Machen, & Mina Loy
G – Rider Haggard, G. A. Henty, & T. E. Lawrence
H – Henrik Ibsen, Olive Schreiner, & George Egerton
5 - Pick a hottie to simp for:
A & F – Omar Kingsley/ Miss Ella
D & E – Cléo de Mérode
B & H – Vesta Tilley
C & G – Unknown Gentleman
6 - Pick a dream holiday:
A – Berlin
B – Paris
C – Capri
D – Lesbos
E – Scotland
F – New York
G – Cairo
H – London
7 - Pick some celebrities to hang out with:
A – Ellen Terry & Oscar Wilde
B – Vesta Tilley, Marie Lloyd, & Anna Pavlova
C – Gabriele D’Annunzio & Charles Baudelaire
D – Sarah Bernhardt, Dolly Wilde, & Caroline Otero
E – Charles Darwin, Ada Lovelace
F – Luisa Casati, the Pre-Raphaelites
G – Captain Frederick Burnaby, Richard Burton, & Roger Casement
H – Annie Besant, the Pankhursts
8 - Pick an artist's favourite style & place:
D & F – Lawrence Alma-Tadema
A & B – James Tissot
C & G – Frederic Leighton
E & H – Pierre-Auguste Renoir
9 - Pick something camp:
A – the Met Gala
B – Music Hall
C – The Green Carnation
D – Tiffany lamps
E – Ronald Firbank
F – Aubrey Beardsley
G – Sins of the City of the Plain
H – Tchaikovsky’s ballet
10 - Pick a colour:
A – pink
B – crimson
C – opalescent
D – white
E – forest green
F – azure
G – black
H – purple
11 - Pick something to die from:
A – Beautiful face
B – Spinal degeneration as a result of pride
C – Not enough pillows
D – Flirting headaches
E – Garden troubles
F – Too many novels
G – Going outside at night in Italy
H – The Unpleasantness
12 - Pick an Orientalism:
B, C, D – Hellenism (Lawrence Alma-Tadema):
C, F, H – Japonism (James McNeill Whistler)
A, G, E – French/ North Africa (Benjamin Jean Joseph Constant):
The Results! Your Queer Archetype:
A - Drag Queen
First off, you’re fabulous! You delight in the fine things in life – silks, laces, pearls, and glitter, oh my! — and would go to any length to cultivate a beautiful (and slightly campy) existence. Whether it’s parading through Soho in abundant skirts, writing beautiful romantic letters as your alter ego, or hanging at the Moulin Rouge; it’s all about those vibes, baby!
You enjoy (or might like to have a look at) Baz Luhrman, Drag Race, Angela Carter, Cabaret, and the music video for Sam Smith’s single, ‘Unholy’.
Be sure to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle this Pride, and we can’t wait to say “Wilkommen, Bienvenue!” to you next year!
B - Adventurous Lesbian
One thing is clear – you’re not like the other girls! (Or at least, that’s how they’d describe you in a neo-Victorian novel.) You have a fun, bawdy energy and a chivalrous heart, and you don’t care what anyone thinks. Good for you! You love roaming about, the theatre, and romancing beautiful ladies – preferably in a fancy tux and top hat, or as a sailor, pirate, soldier, or Dickensian urchin. As long as it’s fun, am I right?
You enjoy Sarah Waters, The Handmaiden, Gentleman Jack, Cabaret, the art of Jeanne Mammen, the circus, Marlene Dietrich, Coppola’s Dracula (especially the bits about Mina and Lucy!), and possibly Erroll Flynn films. Only, of course, you would out-swagger him in a heart-beat. Perhaps you would enjoy Gail Carriger’s Gustard Protocol series.
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!
C - Dandy Aesthete
You are, without a doubt, the OG Victorian Queer and a hedonistic hero. Dandy fashion, Arts & Crafts, Pater and Swinburne, sunflowers galore – bring it on! You love to cultivate a beautiful life, but you also prefer your beauty with a touch of darkness and decadence. Beauty may well be your downfall in the end – but it will all have been worth it, right?
You enjoy Japanese avant garde art, Paris, Oscar Wilde films & biographies, Interview with a Vampire (check out the new AMC series!), NBC’s Hannibal, Natasha Pulley’s novels, and P. G. Wodehouse.
I say, old chap, it’s wonderful to have you here!
D - Sapphic Queen
Look at you, Queen! You are the epitome of elegance and sprezzatura, and you do whatever the hell you want. Extravagant dinner parties, dressing up as Medieval page-boys, romancing celebrities and poets, polyamory, Greek festivals in the garden, pilgrimages to Lesbos – it’s your world and we only live in it.
You enjoy art museums, flânerie, Sarah Bernhardt, French decadence, Gustav Klimt, and art nouveau. May we recommend Colette (in novels and film), Crimson Peak, Carol, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Favourite, and Mystère à la Tour Eiffel?
You just keep on going, Queen! You’re an example to all of us.
E - Country House Butch
I say, old boy! You’re a right corker! You know how to get things done; you’re forthright, sensible, outdoors-y, and you’d like to give a lucky lady a good home with a nice garden. You like dogs, sports, long walks, and sensible shoes, and by Gad, if people sometimes mistake you for a chap, that’s no skin off your nose, eh?
You enjoy Vernon Lee, Downton Abbey, Gentleman Jack, P. G. Wodehouse, Agatha Christie, and possibly WW1 films. Consider Ammonite, Aimée & Jaguar, Vita & Virginia, Summerland, and a good trudge ‘round the old back yard.
Remember to let the old hair down once in a while. We’re chuffed to have you here, what!
F - Non-Binary Poet
Forms who? Tradition where? You don’t care about any of that, and good for you! You’re a dreamer, an innovator, a radical queer-er of all the things! You enjoy exploring new frontiers and forms, and if people sometimes call you weird or niche, that’s their loss!
You’re following in the footsteps of the greats – Emily Dickinson, R. B. Nugent, Michael Field, or Mary Diana Dods! You enjoy modernism, Wes Anderson, Dickinson!, queer monster anthologies, Nettleblack, poetry, and may enjoy the indigiqueer anthology Love After The End .
Keep rocking on, babe!
G - Soldier Boi
Hello, soldier! You’re a snazzy old chap, and no mistake. You’re into manly stuff: guys’ weekends, benders, cruising, smoking, a good whiskey, gambling, horseflesh, uniforms, saying, ‘I say, old boy’, and shiny boots. You have some great friends who will get you out of a tight spot, like a Cleveland Street Scandal, in no time, and that’s just spiffing.
You enjoy Christopher Isherwood, Sherlock Holmes, Ouida novels, Flashman, E. M. Forster’s Maurice, Downton Abbey, the 2022 film Fire Island (aka gay Pride & Prejudice), Tom of Finland’s art, and Tom Ford’s A Single Man.
Watch out for those chatty telegraph boys, old chap. We’d hate to loose you to the continent!
H - Suffragette!
Oh dear, you’re an activist! You’re clever, spirited, go-getting, and once you put your mind to something, the world better watch out! You probably go to university (gasp!), bicycle, smoke, discuss sexology for fun (with annotations), and your roommate is more than your gal pal. You have your ‘Votes For Women’ sash ready on your night stand, possibly right next to your Audre Lorde & bell hooks anthologies and your pussy hat.
You enjoy New Woman fiction by Sarah Grand, Olive Schreiner, Thomas Hardy, and Grant Allen, Suffragette (the film), Christina Broom’s photography, Summerland, Merchant Ivory films, and period dramas about feisty gals.
Never stop fighting the good fight. You’re an inspiration to us all!